Getting Married – For Better or Worse

Category: Planning and Advice Posted On: 2020-11-25 10:23:40, Read 1599 times


One of the biggest concerns for many people before getting married is that it will change the dynamic of their relationship. Things will become boring, complacency will slip in. Getting your head around being with the same person forever is quite a big thing to deal with. Once the excitement of receiving a sparkling ring and getting engaged begins to fade and the wedding planning kicks in, it’s perfectly normal to have wobbles. So today we thought we’d share our experiences of how relationships change for the better once the knot is tied. It doesn’t all have to be slippers and nights in front of the TV…and yes, it’s hard work. A lifelong commitment is never going to easy – but is it worth it?! We think so. And here’s why…

I am a huge, huge advocate for the institution of marriage. My grandparents have been married forever (and ever), and my parents are teenage sweethearts who went separate ways before quickly realising they were definitely made for each other. Dan’s parents are also still together after 36 years of marriage so between us we were set some pretty amazing examples. Not just those of happily married times and love stories, but also of coping with difficulties together, financial hardships as a team, supporting one another through grief and generally just getting real life right. Before I became a Mrs I was in the camp which proclaims a piece of paper cannot change a relationship, and even once we were engaged, and planning our wedding, I still genuinely didn’t foresee anything altering. Admittedly, the changes were subtle initially post tying the knot, some may argue that very little in our every day lives changed, but all changes were further compounded when “we” became three and parenthood took over.

So how has our relationship improved for the better? Both of us know the other isn’t perfect, and to an outsider our life together probably has many imperfections, but “we” definitely get better with age and I think keeping a grasp of this reality, and forgetting all pedestals is something to thank marriage for. With any relationship comes a sense of team, and I love that belonging, and knowing my team mate is in it for the long run (’til death do us part!!). It also makes me so happy that Dan just knows an awful lot of things… he just knows that my car driving song of choice is always a singalong (preferably a Neil Diamond classic), he just knows that emptying the bins is not a job for me, he just knows I can’t resist a pretty tea cup so never to question another purchase, and most importantly, he just knows when to ramp up the levels of support he offers. Would he know these things if he was my boyfriend, rather than Mr H? Yes, without doubt, but that super close source of support, without ever having to ask for it, is definitely something I attribute to our marriage. Finally, with matrimony comes being totally, 100% comfortable expressing ourselves; whether that’s arguing, letting the other know we need some reassurance, or even just reminding the other that we think they’re pretty amazing, never having to think before you speak is bloody brilliant. Getting married is a completely personal choice, but for me being a wife and mother are the best (and hardest) two jobs in the world.

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